Reenactment
by PerfectCell17
Summary: After finding a certain video recreation of his beloved Cell Games, Cell decides to rope the hell mates into making a reenactment that is more to his liking!
1. Chapter 1

"Gee, what a great reward this is." Cell muttered to both himself and his partner in crime, Frieza, in pure sarcasm.

Frieza shrugged distractedly, before mumbling his own opinion, "I don't know. There are some pretty interesting things in here..."

Cell rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Whatever you say. I wouldn't have even bothered wasting my time behaving if I knew this was all we were going to get."

Exactly thirty days ago, Goz and Mez made a proposition with the hell mates, promising an astounding reward if they could manage not to do anything that would be considered 'misbehaving' for an entire month. Every single hell mate arrogantly accepted the challenge, and immediately set about being on their best behaviour. They were all looking for any type of reward, especially since the ogre duo had been being extra strict with the hell mates because of their disappointment over the pictures not turning out from the slumber party.

Poor ogres, not being able to shamelessly mock the inhabitants of hell.

Anyway, the first week went by smoothly, with hell being as peaceful and goody-two-shoesy as the Upper World... That is, until Goz and Mez began to worry about the hell mates actually succeeding, and having to provide a reward. That's when they started to look for any little reason to disqualify the group, one by one.

Recoome was the first to go. His reason; leaving the toilet seat up.

Next, Broly was disqualified. Apparently he pronounced 'Kakarot' in the wrong pitch.

Then it was Nappa, for apparently blinding Mez with the shine from his bald head.

And so on and so forth the rest of the hell mates were disqualified for exceptionally trivial reasons. That is, except for Cell and Frieza. After torturing themselves for an entire month being absolutely perfect, -- which Cell insisted was in his nature, of course -- the duo found out that their grand reward was being able to rummage through the Other World's 'Lost and Found' bin, and take one item of choice.

"Property of Cell?" Frieza grabbed one of the random objects out of the Lost and Found bin, holding it up curiously. "Look familiar?"

Eyes widening at the sight of his first object obtained upon his arrival in hell, Cell quickly reached over to snatch the item out of the Icejin's hands. "How the hell did my diary -- I mean, my journal -- end up in here?! It's private property, you know!"

Frieza laughed in sheer amusement at his newly learned fact. "You have a diary? Since when? What would _you_ even have to write about in a diary?"

"Anyway..." Cell started, in a not-so-subtle attempt to hide his embarrassment with a subject change. He hastily shoved the book into one of his non-existent body pockets, before continuing. "Do you see anything that's actually worth discussing?"

Frieza picked up another random object, which also happened to be a notebook, and chuckled. "Well, I suppose I could get this and start a _diary_ of my own..."

Cell grabbed the first item he could get his hands on, and cocked his hand back, preparing to throw. However, just as he was about to launch whatever it was at Frieza, the item below the one he grabbed caught his attention. Lowering his hand as his attention was divided, the bio-android grabbed what appeared to be a black rectangle.

Cell could feel his eye immediately begin twitching at he read the label written across the rectangle.

"Is that a video tape?" Frieza rose an eyebrow questioningly, "What kind of video would cause such a reaction out of you? Unless... It's not one of my father's private videos, is it?"

Cell's still twitching eye seemed to render him unable to speak, so he leaned his hand across the bin, revealing to Frieza the source behind his twitches.

"Legacy of a Hero; A Recreation of Hercule Satan's Triumph in the Cell Games?" Frieza vocalized the video's title, trying exceptionally hard not to burst out laughing, but to no avail. He just couldn't believe it. "You were really killed by a human?"

This mocking question was enough to snap Cell out of his speechlessness and opened the metaphorical flood gate of the bio-android's repressed feelings over his failed tournament. "Hercule Satan?! That pathetic, overly ego-inflated annoyance of a human was flicked out of my perfect ring with one flick of my perfect wrist! He was the laughing stalk of my entire, perfect tournament! It was that stupid half-Saiyan brat that put an end to my perfection, and he didn't even do that himself! It took all of the fighters to gang up on me in order to take down my perfection! You know why?! Because they're not as perfect as me!"

Frieza just blinked. "...You know you just said perfect like six times in the last minute, right?"

Ignoring the Icejin, Cell continued on with his little rant. "I mean, how could even those moronic humans believe that _Hercule Satan_ could beat me?! How could they make a movie about it?! A false movie?! How -- ?!"

Another bout of Frieza's laughter interrupted Cell, before he added. "We so have to watch that movie!"

"And that's exactly what we're going to do!" Cell declared, already beginning to form one of his classic plans. "We're going to steal the TV and VCR, and see just how bad they butchered my perfect tournament!"

Frieza smirked. He liked the idea of one of his and Cell's schemes -- no matter how small -- especially after enduring a month of uncharacteristic good behaviour. "I like it! So, what are we going to do?"

"Simple. We're going to distract Goz and Mez, and take it when they're not looking."

After perfecting their scheme to steal the ogre duo's attention away from the television and VCR, Cell and Frieza made their way back into hell's main room, where all of the hell mates spent the majority of their time. They spotted out the key person in their plan, and stalked up to him, grinning in excitement.

"What the hell do you two morons want?" Vegeta asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. There always seemed to be some sort of catch behind every visit Frieza and Cell made to him, and he was sure that this time was no exception.

"Oh nothing... We just thought we should let you know that the Ginyu Force has been going around telling everyone that you tried out for the Force, but they rejected you because your poses sucked." Cell explained innocently, hoping to anger the Saiyan enough to attack the Ginyu Force, thus causing Goz and Mez to focus their attention on breaking up the fight. It seemed fool proof.

Vegeta cocked an eyebrow, continuing to stare at the villains skeptically. "Nice try, but those idiots are too afraid of me to say anything like that."

Frieza cursed inaudibly to himself, and decided to go with a different angle to make Vegeta angry. "By the way, monkey, my father said that you confessed your deep feelings of love for him."

That did it.

The Saiyan growled, and lowered his arms with clenched fists, visibly enraged. "He what?! I'll kill him!"

With that, Vegeta powered up, and took off toward his unsuspecting victim

"Quick thinking. I would have thought that the Ginyu Force thing would have worked for sure..." Cell whispered, wondering.

"I didn't. What made you think of that, anyway?"

"Because the Ginyu Force really told me that."

Frieza snickered, and looked over to his father, who was currently cornered by Vegeta. A Vegeta that looked ready to strike at any second.

"We should get going, it's almost time!" Cell said, already beginning to head over to the doors that Goz and Mez were sure to come through when the fight started.

The exact moment the first punch was thrown by Vegeta, Goz and Mez came running out, giving the tyrant duo the opportunity they were waiting for. Completely undetected, they were able to sneak into the ogre's special lounge, which happened to also be connected to the storage room the TV was kept in.

"Wow... It's actually pretty nice in here! Why haven't we snuck in here before?" Frieza said in awe, taking a very appreciative look at the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Focus!" Cell snapped, grabbing the first thing he could get his hands on from the Ogre's Lounge table, and throwing it at the Icejin. "We're on a mission, remember?"

Frieza easily dodged the object, which happened to be a lamp, and sent in crashing to the floor with a none-too-quiet bang. He grinned sheepishly, "Right, we have to see how your 'perfect tournament' got butchered in the video!"

It wasn't difficult to find the storage room, and therefore the TV and VCR. The problems arose, however, when they quickly realized that the big-screen was too large to fit through the rather narrow doorway.

"How is that even possible?" Cell demanded, both in frustration and a genuine curiosity. "I mean, they must have gotten it in here, right?!"

Frieza shrugged, still too caught up in the comparative luxury that the ogres got to live in compared to the hell mates to actually care about the great mystery of the too-small doorway. "Maybe they knock down the wall and rebuild it every time they bring out the TV? Wow, how come our rooms don't look like these...?"

"Because we're in hell." Cell started simply, before snapping. "Now focus! We don't have long before Goz and Mez return, so we have to get the TV out of here somehow! Help me think!"

"But aren't your thoughts supposed to be perfect? How could my regular, non-perfect thoughts possibly help?"

"Just shut up, and help me figure something out! There is no way I'm missing a chance to watch this video!" Cell once again made another attempt to push the large television through the storage room door, only to get the same results of it getting stuck. He tried yet again.

Frieza cocked a curious eyebrow. "Are you waiting for the TV to change shape or something?"

"I don't see you coming up with anything better!"

The Icejin pointed to the electrical socket on the bottom of the wall behind Cell. "Why don't we just watch it in here? As long as we're not too loud Goz and Mez will never notice we're in here."

Cell pondered that for a quick moment, before nodding. "I suppose that will work. Now, help me set it up!"

"Why do I have to do all of the work?! Frieza demanded in complaint, before smirking in a sudden enlightenment. "Unless... Don't tell me the great Cell doesn't know how to hook up a simple VCR?"

"When would I ever have the need for such knowledge?! Do you think I had a VCR at my ring while I waited for the tournament or something?!" Cell huffed in pure defense, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

Frieza snickered, not bothering to voice any of the comments about that that were swirling around in his head. Instead, he slowly got to work with getting the television and VCR plugged and set up, for no other reason than to assuage Cell's annoyance. He had learned long ago that an annoyed Cell was not a fun Cell.

Cell did the honours of putting the enigmatic tape in the machine, and pressed play.

The tyrants held their breath as the screen lit up with the opening images of the film.

_The desert wind swept across the brown dirt ground, the camera gradually panning over to reveal the edge of a poorly-recreated ring, a replica of the one Cell constructed for the Cell Games._

_The camera then raised to reveal the back of an oddly familiar figure; A green bio-android covered with black spots and black wings, all obviously made of rubber. This only got worse when the creature turned around, revealing his over-sized rubber face, with oddly sharp teeth._

_"Haha.. hahahaha!" The imitation Cell laughed, the actor obviously trying his best to sound evil, and failing miserably._

Frieza burst out laughing at the scene, already completely hooked in the video within seconds of it starting.

Cell, on the other hand, nearly growled. "How _dare_ they try to pass that foolish human off as _me?!_"

"Shhh!" Frieza shh'd the other. "I can't hear the movie!"

"..."

_The camera continued to pan, this time onto the Z-Fighters, all with the same goofy, bobble-head rubber masks._

Cell was at least able to smirk at this, enjoying seeing his competition looking just as ridiculous as he was made out to be.

The bio-android's enjoyment didn't last long.

_"We will stop you, Cell-Monster!" The imitation Goku grandly announced, before stepping up on the ring._

_The fake Cell just laughed in forced amusement, countering with, "Haha! It is I, Cell, who will instead beat you! Haha!"_

_These words seemed to commence the fighting._

"Cell-Monster!" Frieza quoted, nearly in hysterics at this point. Just when he thought this film couldn't get any better, he seemed to be pleasantly surprised at every turn.

Cell remained silent, just glaring at the screen. He couldn't wait for it to be over.

_The Cell and Goku actors took their fight to the air, faking a grand melee battle, while blatantly obvious wires held the duo above-ground. Even worse, both characters were grunting in over-exaggeration, with a mix of 'Has!' and 'Hos!' thrown in with each dramatic movement._

_This continued until both fighters returned to the ring, the phony Goku kneeling down in what was supposed to be pain. That's when Goku announced defeat._

_"You gang of strangers were not hard, but easy!" The actor Cell laughed, before announcing his plans to 'blow up the world'. That is, until a sudden voice stopped him._

_"Wait, you haven't beaten _me_!" The voice boomed through a cloud of wind-blown dust, eventually revealing the figure to be Hercule Satan._

"...I shouldn't have bothered to spare his miserable life." Cell practically growled as he took in the sight of the the so-called winner of the Cell Games.

Frieza just continued to laugh.

_"You look very strong! Here is a fire ball!" The imitation Cell announced, before stepping back onto a bright red button planted obviously into the ring. This caused a dynamite-esque explosion, followed by triumphant laugh from the andriod._

_"Haha... Hahaha!"_

_The smoke from the explosion cleared, and the actor Hercule stood tall in its midst, causing Cell to try another trick._

_"Take my monster rays!" Yet another blatant button -- though it was this time a yellow one -- was stepped on by Cell's actor, causing two harpoons to spring out from the ground near Hercule._

_Hercule grabbed the harpoons, snapping them seemingly effortlessly in his hands._

_This act seemed to greatly frighten the so-called Cell, and the actor jumped on to his knees. With continuous bowing motions of his upper body, he cried, "Oh my, now I am scared! Please won't you forgive me?"_

By this point, the Icejin was fighting for oxygen through his seemingly endless laughter.

"I. Would. Never. Beg." Cell seethed in pure hatred, clamping his fists tight enough to draw a small trickle of blood from his palms.

_A fiery, righteous background flared up behind the mock Hercule Satan, before he began a winded speech on how bad of a person Cell was. This was swiftly followed by him attacking the villain with a slow fury of punches, finished off by a kick to the side that sent the Cell-actor flying into a mountain._

_"Ah... I am losing!" Cell shouted, as he landed pitifully on the ground._

_The camera briefly cut to an admiring Goku and Vegeta on the side lines._

_"Mr. Satan in great!" The fake Goku chirped, while Vegeta nodded along with his own comment._

_"I wish I were him!"_

Cell was at least able to get a smirk out of this scene, just imagining the look on Vegeta's face if he were to see such a thing.

However, that smirk didn't last with the video's finally scene.

_"I am beaten! Ah!" Cell yelled from his collapsed position on the ground, before randomly exploding, thus signalling his defeat._

_"Justice always wins!" Hercule V'd his fingers, before cutting to the credits._

"Aww, it's already over?!" Frieza demanded teasingly, finally able to get his laughter under control.

Cell, on the other hand, had not gotten even the slightest control over his anger. He had actual begun to tremble as his kept his fists firmly closed.

"I guess I should get the tape so we can get out of here before Goz and Mez get back..." Frieza thought aloud, guessing that those matters weren't anywhere near the first thing on Cell's mind at the moment.

Once the tape was ejected, and Frieza grasped it, he quickly found it taken by Cell, who promptly crushed it with ease.

"I can't believe that such a video was ever made!" Cell finally spoke again, his voice coming out surprisingly calm. "I can't believe that those pathetic humans would even _believe _such a thing! I knew they were pitifully imperfect, but still --!"

Frieza shrugged, "Oh well, there's nothing you can do about it now."

Cell smirked, his eyes lighting up the way Frieza knew they did when he was forming a plan. "On the contrary, there is something that can be done!"

"And what would that be?" The Icejin questioned skeptically.

"We are going to make a proper recreation of my perfect Cell Games!"

"_We?_"

Cell nodded, "Yes, we."

"Okay, whatever you say, Cell-monster!" Frieza once again began snickering, much to Cell's annoyance.

"Shut up."

A/N: After waaay too long, another hell mates story! I've been planning this one for like a year now! And it starts with the largest chapter I think I've ever written! Anyway, updates and other hell mates goodness to come soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Cell and Frieza were able to sneak back out of the ogre's special lounge just in time to see Goz and Mez finishing up what looked like a long winded lecture directed at Vegeta.

"...That concludes the ninety-eight reasons why it's best to keep your hands to yourself!" The tyrant duo over-heard Goz announce with an oddly high amount of enthusiasm.

Mez continued on with the last comment they had to say to the Saiyan. "We hope you were paying attention, Vegeta! We will be testing you on this later, you know!"

With that, the ogres hopped off back to their lounge, completely unaware of the events that had transpired in there only moments ago.

"Since when are there ninety-eight reasons to keep your hands to yourself?" Frieza blinked, confused by this new revelation. "Goz and Mez usually tell us about their bizarre new rules right after they come up with them."

"Since when do they test us on those rules?" Cell countered, equally puzzled, before shaking his head. "These are just new ways to make our lives even more miserable."

The both sighed simultaneously.

"So, just how do you intend on making this recreation of your tournament, Cell-Monster?" Frieza inquired, changing the conversation back to the topic that had brought him endless amusement from the moment Cell showed him the cassette tape.

"Shut up!" Cell snapped again, getting the sinking feeling that this was going to become a lasting nickname. "Making it is going to be quite simple. I'm going to write an accurate script, and get everyone to act it out in front a camera so my perfection will forever be immortalized."

"Oh..." Frieza nodded along, before countering with a one of the more obvious questions running through his mind."And by everyone you mean...?"

"Everyone that we're forced to endure on a daily basis! Duh."

"You actually believe that they will willingly participate in a movie that will only fuel your perfection complex even more?" Frieza asked lamely.

"Oh, please! I do not have a perfection complex!" Cell defended, crossing his arms over his chest, huffing.

The Icejin sweat dropped, dumbfounded. "...Don't tell me you're actually offended?"

"I am not! I am just in awe at the imperfect flaws in your logic!" Cell snapped, not helping his case one bit with his words.

Frieza just shook his head, grinning to himself, before just conceding for the sheer purpose of changing the subject. "You're right, Cell. I don't know what I was thinking!"

The bio-android could easily see through his partner's sarcasm, but just let it slide. After all, he had much more important matters to attend to at the moment. He brought the conversation back a few sentences, continuing where it last left off when it was still on track. "As I was saying, I intend to use our moronic companions to act out the true version of the Cell Games."

Frieza, too, carried on where they had digressed. "Are you really expect them to do this willingly?"

Cell paused for a moment to scan over the main room of hell, taking in each hell mate, and weighing the odds of them assisting his mission. "I believe the Ginyu Force freaks and your father will be eager to make idiots of themselves in front of the camera."

"And the others...?"

"I'm sure I could convince Raditz and Nappa easily enough. As for Vegeta and Broly... We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Cell explained with a determined grin, feeling to excited about this little project to let anything get in his way.

"Well, ,just how are you planning on getting this video camera to tape your recreation, anyway? I don't think I've so much as seen one the entire time that I've been in hell." Frieza commented, feeling odd at being the voice of reason in this little scheme. It was a position that he wasn't exactly used to, usually being just as excited as Cell. He smirked at the thought, figuring that if he was going to be the rational one in this, he might as well have his own sadistic fun, as well.

And just how was he planning on doing this? By making in his personal mission to see just how many logical questions it would take before the bio-android got frustrated enough to cancel his Cell Games reenactment. Or at least until the goofy grin left Cell's face.

He knew that this probably wasn't the best thing to do to his closest companion in hell, but he figured Cell would get over it.

Cell's excitement remained just as strong, and he just shrugged that inquiry off. Keeping his grin intact, he just answered with, "Yet another bridge that will be crossed when we come to it! I'm sure that somewhere in this Other World there is a video camera for my taking. Besides, I have to write the script before worrying about that."

The Icejin blinked, oddly surprised by this fact. Without thinking, he blurted out a genuine, "You can write?!"

"Well, I wouldn't be much of a perfect being if I were just another illiterate insect, now would I?" Cell stated simply, taking no offense in a comment that would have typically angered him to no end just a little while ago.

"You're being way too optimistic for your own good..." Frieza mumbled lowly to himself, before immediately carrying on with his self-proclaimed mission of questioning. "So, now that I know that you actually can write, what do you intend to write this script on?"

"A typewriter, of course."

This particular answer seemed to set off a cartoon-like mental image in Frieza's mind.

_Cell was sitting in a wooden desk, hunched comically over a typewriter, his fingers typing furiously away on the keys. He was in such a deep state of concentration working on this 'masterpiece' that sweat was actually beginning to build on the surface on his forehead._

_With all of the effort that Cell seemed to be putting in, there wasn't exactly much to be written on the sheet of paper sticking out from the machine. In fact, all it said was one simple word repeated over and over, filling the page completely._

_That word, of course, being 'Cell-Monster'._

_The part that really amused Frieza in all of this was one basic fact about this whole mental scenario._

_Cell was wearing the same ridiculous, pointy-toothed rubber mask that the actor had been wearing during the ludicrous Hercule-favouring Cell Games reenactment video._

"Hello? Earth -- rather hell, I suppose -- to Frieza!" Freiza found himself returning to reality with the sound of Cell's words, followed by one of the latter's white hands waving in front of his face.

Frieza just burst into laughter at his little daydream, finding himself unable to stop.

Cell cocked an incredulous eyebrow, wondering about the sudden change in his partner's demeanour. Frieza had never been one to just space out before, let alone burst out into seemingly random hysterical laughter. He began to wonder is something was wrong.

"Are you feeling all right?" The bio-android questioned skeptically, bringing a pale hand up to feel the temperature of the Icejin's forehead. That was when he realized that he had absolutely no idea what the normal temperature range was supposed to be in a human, let alone an Icejin. Retracting his hand, Cell just repeated his question. "Are you feeling all right?"

Frieza was finally able to calm down, only to once more chuckle as Cell's previous actions clicked in. "...Did you really just feel my forehead?"

"_Anyway,"_ Cell emphasized the word, before quickly changing the subject. "As I said before you spaced out, I intend to use a typewriter."

Frieza snorted, "Because I'm sure there's just a typewriter lying around hell, right?"

The bio-android thought this over for a brief moment, before finally conceding, "You may have a point with that."

The Icejin smirked to himself, beginning to feel a victory coming on. "Then what are you going to write your precious script on? Goz and Mez haven't let us use paper since we tried to see if it were possible to kill -- or re-kill, whatever -- Raditz by paper cutting him."

Cell snickered, still undeterred, "Ah, that was an amusing experiment, wasn't it?"

"Probably not for the monkey." Frieza grinned amusedly, before immediately returning to his self-appointed mission to discourage Cell. "So, what do you intend to write on?"

Cell seemed momentarily stumped on this matter, making the former feel even better about prevailing in his mission. That is, until a sudden flash of enlightenment seemed to strike the bio-android.

Reaching around to one of his non-existent body pockets, Cell whipped out a familiar object; His recovered journal acquired from the Lost and Found bin. "This!"

"I give up!" Frieza sighed loudly in exasperation, fed up with his friend's solutions to what seemed like every possible problem he could think of thus far. "You're just too damned optimistic! It's hopeless!"

Cell blinked, wondering if he had missed something. Or if Frieza had disappeared into another strange daydream or something. "...Is something wrong?"

"No! Everything's just fine! It's _perfect_, in fact!" The Icejin punctuated his aggravated words by throwing his hands up in frustration.

"...If you say so." The bio-android said uncertainly, "You've been acting odd for the last little while. Would helping me with my script help with that?"

Wondering what possible connection Cell saw between the two matters -- as right as he may have been -- Frieza thought it over for a brief moment, before finally nodding. At least he would still be able to mess with the other, only this time from on the inside.

"Good. Since I don't trust you to actually write out any of the actual tournament --"

"What?! Why not?!" This time it was Frieza's turn to get offended.

"For two reasons. The first being that you weren't present at the Cell Games, and would be unable to provide an accurate account."

"And the second...?"

Cell smirked, "You insist on calling me Cell-Monster."

"That's a lame reason." Frieza sweat dropped. "So, if I can't help with the script, what else is there to do?"

"I have saved a big honour for you, my friend." Cell started, giving the Icejin a sinking feeling that he was in for some pointless task that would prove useless in the big picture. He was pleasantly surprised, however, when he heard what was in store for him. "You are in charge casting, and coming up with who you think would be best to play each of the miserable Earth fighters."

This responsibility struck Frieza with an idea, and he chuckled darkly to himself.

"With the exception that I am to play myself, of course."

The Icejin immediately stopped laughing, and muttered quietly, "Dammit!"

Cell opened his journal, and ripped out one of the back pages, handing it over to his partner. This was followed by giving him a random pen that had been pulled out of one of the body pockets.

"All right, you work on the cast, and I will put my expertise to use and get the script completed!" Cell explained excitedly, before glancing at one of the clocks littering the walls of hell. "We will reconvene in exactly one hour."

With that, the tyrants went their seperate ways, each finding a quiet corner of hell to settle into for the next hour.

Chewing on the back of his pen absent-mindedly, Frieza scanned the main room of hell, taking in each hell mate in an attempt to decide who they would be most suited to play. Right off the bat he was able to assign roles to a couple of the hell mates, but the others proved to be more of a challenge.

Trying to figure this out left the tyrant deep in thought, and by the time he had finally finished, he looked at the time to discover that he had been at it for nearly twice the allotted time.

"Damn, I'm gonna hear it from Cell, for sure..."

Getting to his feet, Frieza's eyes fell upon the bio-android in the corner across from him, apparently still in an intense concentration. There were crumpled balls of paper in every direction around him. This fact amused the former greatly, and he casually strolled over to the other.

"Having trouble?" Frieza took too much pleasure in asking, motioning to the paper balls as emphasis.

"Writer's block." Cell replied simply, ripping yet another sheet of paper out of his journal, and crumpling it as tight he he could in his white hands. He then tossed it carelessly to the side with a loud sigh.

Cocking an eyebrow, Frieza bent down to retrieve one of the discarded papers, curiously smoothing it out to read what the other had written.

"_Scene start: It is a lovely morning, with the flawless blue sky hanging perpetually overhead. The sun's heated rays fall upon the back of the glorious, perfect being, illuminating his frame, and making him appear even more magnificently God-like than usual. He is waiting patiently for his tournament to begin." _Frieza read what was written aloud, before laughing, "Are you sure this version isn't going to be just a little biased?"

"Of course not! I am just writing it the way it is."

"Yeah, and I'm sure if you would have a much easier time with your writer's block if you weren't using like three words per sentence to make yourself sound good." Frieza mumbled, earning himself a notebook in the head, courtesy of Cell.

"Do you at least get your task accomplished?" The bio-android asked, hoping that Frieza's cast list would be the spark he needed to let his literary fire.

The Icejin held his paper up proudly, showing off the fact that most of its lines were filled. "I think I did a damn good job, too!"

"Well, let's here it!"

Frieza clearly his throat dramatically, before bringing the paper back down to read the first line. "Playing the part of Cell will be... Cell!"

Cell rolled his eyes, waiting for something that he didn't know.

"Playing the part of the annoying human that beat you in the _hilarious_ video we watched will be... My father!"

"Hah, because they're both mind-numbing annoying." Cell smirked, catching on to the other tyrant's logic in that choice. Great minds really did think alike.

"Playing the role of the damned Super Saiyan monkey Goku will be... Vegeta!"

"Because Vegeta hates Goku. Very clever." Cell was enjoying figuring out Frieza's motives. It felt like a game.

"Playing the part of that purple-haired -- " Frieza growled, too enraged by the memories of being killed by Trunks to find a suitable word to describe him. "He'll be played by... Jeice!"

"Ah, because they're both pretty boys."

"Playing the role of the monkey prince... Broly!"

This one took a moment of pondering before the android was able to realize the reasoning. "They're both constantly unreasonably angry. Especially toward Goku."

"And they both have egos the size of the universe." The Icejin added, before continuning. "Playing the part of the Namek will be... Nappa!"

"Because they're both bald with dull personalities?" Cell had to guess on this one, and was proud of himself when the other nodded to signal that he was correct.

"Playing the role of the midget Krillin will be... Guldo!"

"Because they're both _short_ and bald."

Frieza grinned widely as he read the last written line on the page, which also happened to be his personal favourite. "Finally, playing the part of the little Saiyan brat will be... Me!"

Cell couldn't resist grinning either. He knew exactly why Frieza had chosen this one. "Because you want to be the one to defeat me."

"Of course! And you know you would rather have me be the one to 'kill' you, rather than anyone else around here."

"...I suppose you're right about that."

"Aw, is that because I'm the only one you consider a friend?" Frieza teased, snickering to himself.

Cell crosses his arms over his chest, trying his best to appear dismissive. "Shut up."

"Heheh, the great and powerful Cell considers little ol' me to be his friend!"

"Shut up."

"That's okay, because I've given you the honour of being the friend of the former strongest being in the universe, myself."

"Enough of this sentimental drivel!" The bio-android snapped, changing the subject to one he was more comfortable wirh, "What about my dear children, the Cell Jrs.?"

Frieza nearly choked, staring at the other wide-eyed, "You had children?! _That_ wasn't in the video!"

Cell nodded with a grin, "Seven of them!"

"Where did they come from?" Frieza questioned in genuine wonderment, feeling much like an eager child asking where babies come from for the first time.

"My tail, of course."

This only served to further perplex the Icejin. Sneaking a peek around Cell, and at his short tail, he cocked an eyebrow. "And they just... popped out?"

The bio-android once again responded with a nod, before nearly falling over when he heard his partner's next inquiry.

"Did it hurt?"

"What's with all of the questions? Let's just get back to the matter at hand, shall we? I can't properly recreate my Cell Games without my children being in it."

Frieza studied his paper, that not only listed the people he remembered seeing from the reenactment video, but also a list of the hell mates. He noted that only two hell mates weren't already accounted for. "Well, Burter and Raditz are the only ones left over."

"I suppose they will just have to do as my Cell Jrs."

Not mattered how many times he mentioned them, the Icejin just could not get his mind to wrap around the fact that Cell actually had kids. Out of his tail, no less.

"So, does that mean you're technically a mother?"

"..."

To Be Continued...

A/N: Well, there you have chapter two, with the cast list revealed! However, will everything go according to plan? Does it ever for Frieza and Cell? Stay tuned to see! Oh, and a big thanks to those of you who reviewed thus far! :D


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